Gone, a poem

*on Mulder post-Ascension*

by D. Allison Smith

I'm here without you
and I don't know where I am or
where I'm going; everything's a blur.
You're gone, just
		No where to look.
			No one to question.

You're gone and I'm

I sit upon cool black leather staring 
at the traces the moon leaves
shining its light through the blinds of my 

It is ever moving across the 
night sky, in constant motion
as such is time. 
How much will pass before I see you again?
	Stare into your eyes,
		wait for the unexpected smile
			feel the whispers of your skin
				as you stand
					just close enough to me.

The moon moves and time pass,
but you are still

My thoughts bring me back to the
hilltop and the dark chasm
that was the night sky.
Him screaming toward the heavens and
me searching vainly.
You were gone.
Just like that;
			no hope,
	no chance,
		no whim,
				 	no flash.
You were just 

I rise from restless rest
and find the symbol of your faith
glittering gently on my desk.
Why you, who so diligently proclaimed
belief in only what could be touched or seen
would wear such a symbol brings confusion
to this wearied mind.

I allow the now cool
precious metal to lay 
in the palm of my hand.
It catches the moonlight at one chance second
sending a bright twinkle of the world beyond in
through my window.

The bright glimmer of your symbol
is brilliance in my own dark heart.
How ironic it is to me
that as quickly as the moonlight was shown and lost
in your cross,
so quickly you were shown and lost
		to me.

Incomplete are my steps
without you by my side.
I find myself glancing toward my shoulders expectantly
to see a flash of red,
but I find no solace
I was fed from your strength.
	You never knew it.
I should have said it
And now, you're just

If I could just see you again,
be near you again;
if I could just feel your presence next to me
one more time
I would hold you in my arms
and I would say it:
"I need you with me."
I would say it
But now it's too
The chance is over,
the moment departed.
And now you're simply